2008-04-05
Dude, it's like, a llama.
Top 10 Weirdest Things That Have Happened To Me This Year
1. I fell asleep on the table at the void deck with Rachel during our usual early Tuesday morning Void Deck Gang ritual and woke up cross-eyed. Panicked and woke Rachel, who realised that she was afflicted by the same visual impediment. Stayed cross-eyed for the next 30 seconds and panicked together until vision returned to normal. Concluded never to fall asleep with arm pressing against eyeballs ever again.
2. While I was walking along the side of the void deck with Jayne to Oldham Wing, the earth suddenly tilted on its axis for a nanosecond and I was the only person in the universe sensitive enough to feel it and tumble off the curb and onto the road, hence ending up with one bleedy knee and a bruise on the heel of my left hand.
3. I went to Subway with Debs and upon saying yes to the Subway Sandwich Artist's (really, that's what the people behind the counter who make your sub are called, they wear tags that say that) question if I'd like any cheese on my sub, proceeded to watch him intently and observed that they, yet AGAIN, did not tessellate my cheese. Subsequently began to wail, "They didn't tessellate my cheese!! UNNECESSARY DAIRY OVERLAP AAH!!!" much to the utter bewilderment of the Subway Sandwich Artist, along with all the other people nearby enough to witness my meltdown.
4. Got run over by some Chinese man on a bicycle while doing food run at Dover Market.
5. I was about to walk out of A5.12 after Lit class when I espied something black and vaguely technological-looking lying on the floor by the door. Initially dismissed it as some empty discarded case and walked out of classroom, then literally froze in tracks as brain reprocessed information, and then back-stepped back into classroom to pick Mystery Object up. Closer careful examination revealed that I had come across a black Creative Zen mp3 player in an innocuous black case. Turned it on and discovered that the last person to listen to it was listening to one of the songs sung by Ashley Tisdale on the High School Musical soundtrack. Turned it off, stared in silence at it for awhile, sighed and then went to turn it in at the General Office. Later, I met Victor in the canteen and learnt at some point in our conversation that he had lost his mp3 player. The ensuing conversation went something like this:
Me: You lost your mp3 player today? (looks blank)
Victor: Yaah! (looks sad)
Me: Is it black in colour? (still looks bank)
Victor: Yah. (looks neutral)
Me: Is it a Creative Zen? (still still looks blank)
Victor: Eh, yah. (starting to look surprised)
Me: ... Were you listening to something by Ashley Tisdale in High School Musical on it? (looks on the verge of a eureka moment)
Victor: EH YAH! (looks very surprised) No, actually Caleb was listening to that, but yah.
Me: Youuu... (looks sufficiently eureka-ed) I found your mp3 player just now! It was in your base class!
Victor: OH!! (looks very eureka-ed)
Me: GO GENERAL OFFICE NOW, I GAVE IT TO THE COUNTER PEOPLE!
Victor: OHHOKTHANKYOUTHANKYOU *ZSHOOOOOOMMM!!!*
6. I was in the canteen stoning with Rachel when I suddenly stood up with the distinct intention of blurting out something I was thinking about, only to have the movement jerk me out of my catatonic reverie. I then stood there wondering what the hell I was about to blurt out, couldn't remember, got frustrated, and went to buy chicken rice for lunch.
7. Almost lost my life for an impressive total of 9 times on Fun-O-Rama day. Potential means of death included getting run over by random vehicles, breaking my neck from getting high-speed tows from Eugene while wearing his too-big-for-my-feet rollerblades, being within casualty range of a big exploding plastic bag of soya bean milk, choking on an Ikea meatball, and slipping on the beehoon that they threw at us in AH's Dollhouse haunted house while trying to descend a flight of LT stairs in 95% darkness. Not bad lah, I usually come close to dying at least 18 times a day, 9 is an extremely significant achievement. Clap please.
8. On the 1st of January 2008, the Calendar function on my handphone reset itself to the year 1982. On the 1st of January 2007, the Calendar function on my handphone reset itself to the year 1981. I hereby conclude that hidden amongst the inner mechanisms of my handphone is a tiny timewarp-inducing super llama with a thing for a-go-go.
9. Ate instant noodles out of a teapot in the hotel during South Africa trip.
10. ... My memory fails me, I get back to you on this. Erhhh... Hmm :/
feimao at 11:02 p.m.